Verified: Competent

Today I had the first of nine exams that I'll write over the next 17 days. It was for Clinical Orientation - we have to show what we know so they call it a verification of competence. How to use various pieces of equipment, how to restrain animals for different procedures, identification of ages, breeds, sexes, etc. I breezed through the large animal written section and bovine handling and restraint (including getting one hand full of you-know-what while demonstrating a tail jack). And then I came to small ruminant and swine. I did okay with the sheep. They mostly just stood in a corner and were more or less cooperative.

But swine... Oh dear. I'm not comfortable with pigs. I respect them as highly intelligent animals and they're cute as hell as babies. But I'm really only comfortable with swine when they're on my plate. So I put on my big girl rubber boots and in I go with the two 3 month old pigs as the doctor watches me. First, I almost left the gate open, because it looked like the doctor was going to close it (she was reaching for it), but she didn't, and pointed it out to me. I grab the pig board and guide the smaller pig into a corner to show I know how to use it. She asks me where to make an IM injection and I show her. She hands me a hog snare and asks me how to use it (I don't actually have to demonstrate on the pig). Meanwhile, the big pig is CHEWING ON MY LAB COAT. And my boots. And at one point, my legs. Do you have any idea how hard it is to seem composed and intelligent while you're being chewed on by a pig?? I swear that was the longest 3 minutes of my life. I was ecstatic to finally get to the equine station.It was like being rescued by my comrades after being stuck behind enemy lines.

We did small animal next. I came across like an idiot for lab animal. I know the material for lab animal, I can perform the skills, but she mostly wanted me to explain it, and I'm not so good at verbalizing this stuff. Everything else went smoothly. I passed small animal, and as far as I know, I passed large animal. So I'm officially verified as competent. Woo. Just eight more exams to go!